Okay, great, now I have your attention? Let’s talk about algorithmic trading and how it makes markets more liquid and makes trading more systematic by ruling out emotional human impacts on trading activities. Just kidding. I know nothing of algorithmic trading.

Let’s talk about sex. More specifically, role playing some sexual fantasy your or your partner may have. Or maybe just doing it for the fun of it because you like dressing up. That’s how I felt about it. Around Halloween I was looking around on a website for plus sized costumes. This one I’ve bought from before and although they have tons of stuff, it’s pretty cheaply made and I really don’t like buying anything from there. I tend to buy all my bedroom needs from this site and sadly, they don’t have many “costumes”. I did find this set though (x) and thought I could find something sexy to wear with it. So, yes, I’ve been waiting almost a month to finally give in and give role playing a try.

Now, our sex life is kind of on a schedule only because my brother stays with us a few nights a week and the thought of him being in the next room is just plain weird. It turns me off and I do not think he wants to hear the sounds that come from our room when we’re doing the deed. And of course, when we finally have time and it’s not too late and I’m not working, and I’m getting really horny, I get my period. Anyone else? Worst. Timing. Ever. And I know there are people out there who say period sex is amazing and blah blah blah but I think it’s gross and I don’t want to take a chance of getting blood all over my sheets and having it look like someone was murdered on my bed.

Anyway, I purchased a pretty bodysuit from LB and ended up wearing it underneath a blouse one day and it was very comfortable. It is long sleeved, and I changed my mind about it being sexy enough to pair with the maid accessories so I began looking again about 2 weeks ago. I found the perfect thing. This body suit (xx) I hadn’t seen before and thought it looked perfect for the night I wanted to plan! It arrived in the mail shortly and when I tried it on… Ooooh. La. La. I looked and felt so damn sexy I wanted to jump him right then. But he was at work… and I had my period. (of course) But at least I knew it fit and looked great so I just had to wait a few days to have my fun.

Finally, last night, the brother wasn’t coming back to the house and my monthly visitor was on her way out, so I knew it was the night. John was going to be home late, and it worked out perfectly that I put Easton to bed shortly before he got home. To get in the mood, I searched the radio app on my phone for some sexy French music as I decided I would try the accent and everything (which was horrible by the way). The music I found was great, and I even donned some sexy black heels to complete my outfit. Now, I’m no actress, and I’m very… concerned with what people think about what I say. I’ve always been a little embarrassed even ‘talking dirty’ with my husband, like I might sound stupid or something, so this was a BIG deal for me. I practiced what I would say, and how I would say it, walking around the bed to the door, where he would enter (I started by the dresser ‘dusting’ some picture frames) and I was happy with everything, so I took some deep breaths to calm down and told myself it was going to be fun and that he would love it. The second he walked in the door, I just about blanked on what I wanted to say… I did say a few things I had planned, like, how I was sorry the house was still so messy, it had been very dirty and I hoped he would not fire me. You can guess the rest. I was pleasantly surprised how quickly he played along, as I had given him no hint that he was coming home to this.

Although my accent was horribly not French (I think I sounded British a lot, and maybe Latina at one point… and I caught myself even moaning in accent ), the whole experience was a lot of fun and we enjoyed our time together.

Has anyone else every tried role playing, and if so, how was your experience(s)? I greatly encourage anyone who want to try it to do so. Now, I wouldn’t say I’d do the maid again (maybe in a different room for some different experiences ) but I’m definitely feeling more open about the whole thing.

Oh, and I didn’t get fired.

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